


Feels Like Home

by That_Kitty_Malfoy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Looking for Alaska - John Green, Paper Towns - John Green
Genre: Crossover, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-08-09 18:56:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20123248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_Kitty_Malfoy/pseuds/That_Kitty_Malfoy
Summary: Set just after 'The incident' or 'The prank' involving Snape, Sirius flies to a family home in the USA and comes across one Alaska Young. Tragedy ensues and Remus is there to help pick him back up.





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Alaska Young was not dead. Almost, but not quite. The Eagle had not lied, per say, when he said he'd seen the body. He thought he had, but it was in fact the result of a rather well placed memory charm, as was the policeman he spoke to and the jackknifed truck on the road. The policeman, as it happened to turn out, was in fact a scraggly youth named Sirius Black. Black had been the one to cause Alaska to crash her car and almost, but not quite die. He had been innocently riding his flying motorbike over aforementioned road, that is to say as innocently as an under aged wizard can ride a flying motorbike over any road; or as innocently as a Marauder can do anything for that matter, when his cloaking spell momentarily failed. It was at this precise moment that Alaska Young looked up and took a moment too long to decide whether it was the Strawberry Hill that she had consumed. She just had time to mutter “Is that a fucking flying motorbike?!” before she crashed head on into a, thankfully, empty police car. I think those were my fucking last words, she thought, as pain lanced through her chest; Pudge would have a fucking field day. Then everything was blackness. 

Sirius was scared, terrified in fact. He'd panicked. That's why he'd done the memory charms on the witnesses, after the girl had crashed. He cast the charm on the policeman who owned the police car before he could call the paramedics, but unfortunately only after he'd called another man. The man turned out to be the headmaster of the school the girl was attending. He got the memory charm treatment too. Sirius had no idea why he hadn't let the man call the paramedics; but it might have had something to do with the fact that he didn't want to get caught with his motorbike and get into trouble with the ministry. Again. Dumbledore, however, would hopefully be more understanding, and the hospital wing would be more than adequate to heal the girl. The unconscious girl who was currently bleeding out in his arms, covering his hands with blood. It was all over her; her face, chest, neck and soaking her clothes, matting her hair. He pushed her fringe out of her face and whispered softly that he would help her, that she was safe. 

The girl was light; petite and curvy, though growing paler by the second. Sirius held her in front of him on the bike, gripping her round the waist so she didn't fall. He made it back to the house he'd been using as a hideout. He threw a handful of floo powder into the lit fire as soon as he entered the house and, panting, yelled “Hogwarts! Hospital wing!”. The journey from the house in America to Hogwarts only took a couple of minutes, but the girl was getting paler by the second, and those minutes felt like an eternity to Sirius. He all but fell out of the fireplace into the hospital wing, his heart hammering, blood smeared over his arms and face, tears streaming down his cheeks. He glanced up at the clock. 10:05. Madame Pomfrey would be sat in her office doing paperwork. He'd been in the hospital wing with Remy enough to know her schedule pretty much by heart. Using his shoulder to open the door, Sirius burst into the office, startling Madame Pomfrey. She gasped. "Merlin's Beard! Sirius what..."   
"Help." he pleaded weakly. She was already pushing him through the door and to one of the private rooms in the wing.

The private room mas modest, but it was clearly the Hogwarts version of an intensive care unit. Machines whirred into life and wires attached themselves to the girl as Sirius laid her down on the bed. Pomfrey immediately began waving her wand over the girls body, muttering incantations under her breath. Alaska glowed several different colours before Pomfrey stopped, and Sirius stood there all the while, biting his lip, sobbing silently. “All her ribs are broken. They punctured her skin and not her lungs, so that's lucky. The cuts on her face aren't as bad as they look and I should be able to fix them up without much scarring. Her nose is broken and she has severe whiplash. She's also managed to hit her head quite hard, possibly damaging her temporal lobe. I'll need to do a few more tests to make sure. She may be unconscious for a while. Go clean yourself up, Mr Black, then you will come back here and talk to myself and the headmaster. You will talk to no one else beforehand. Understood?”   
“Yes, Madame Pomfrey, understood.” His throat was raw from crying, and his clothes were matted with blood. He wanted to talk to Remy, he would know what to do, what to say. He knew that James would freak, but Remy wouldn't. Luck was, thankfully, on his side as it was the holidays, and James and Peter were at their homes. Remy was the only person in the dorm and Sirius collapsed into him as soon as he walked through the door.

“Remy,” he sobbed, “I need you to come with me.”  
“Siri, what's wrong? Whose blood is this?”  
“A girl. I made her crash. She's in the hospital wing. Come with me?”  
“We need to get you cleaned up first.” Remus tried to move Sirius towards the bathroom, but (his friend refused to move.  
“No, I need to tell them what happened”  
“At least wash your face and change your top.” Remus requested gently. Sirius agreed, quickly scrubbing his face and changing his top. His chest and legs were still covered in blood. He didn't care. He wanted this over with.

The two boys walked quickly to the hospital wing, Sirius quietly sobbing. Remus held his hand for moral support. When they got there, Pomfrey had cleaned the girl up and Dumbledore sat by her side, talking quietly but urgently to the healer. They both looked up at the boys as they walked in. Dumbledore waved his wand, and two more chairs appeared in the room. The boys took them.  
“Start at the beginning my boy.” Dumbledore spoke softly, encouragingly.  
“I was in America, flying my bike. I know I shouldn’t have been, and I'm so fucking sorry.” Madame Pomfrey opened her mouth, but Dumbledore held up a hand to stop her, and waved the other at Sirius encouragingly. Sirius continued. “I had a cloaking spell on the bike, but it failed and she must've seen. She crashed and I didn't know what to do and she nearly died and it's all my fault and I can't get anything fucking RIGHT!” Sirius broke down and cried in harsh gasps. The noise was a shock for everyone else in the room. No one had ever seen the boy like this before; he was normally a mischievous happy-go-lucky boy with a charming smile and bright eyes. Now he was in pieces. Remus held him. Sirius was clutching to him as if he meant never to let go, smearing Alaska's blood on the boy unthinkingly.  
“We'll get her back to health Sirius," said Dumbledore "...everything will be fine.”  
Dumbledore turned to Remus.   
“Take him to the dorms, get him clean, and get him to bed. He needs rest.” So Remus did as he was told.

Remus knew that Sirius was in no state to shower alone. He himself was covered in blood from holding Sirius. So he took Sirius into the shower room and began to carefully remove the other boys clothes. First his t-shirt; the cleanest of the garments. Then his boots. Finally his trousers which were beginning to become crusty with drying blood, leaving Sirius standing in the nude. He didn't seem to notice, his mind still replaying the events of the accident. He lead Siri into the shower, turning the hot water on. It wasn't like Remus had never seen the boy naked before, they'd both showered together in the past, as friends do. However this time was somewhat different. Remus looked at Sirius with new eyes. He noticed how beautiful the other boy was. Suddenly Sirius' legs gave way. Remus caught him deftly. Sirius held on to his friend, looking completely broken and covered in blood, his eyes red and puffy from crying and water pouring over him. He was leaning on Remus for support, letting out harsh breaths now and again, and Remus enveloped him in a tight embrace; holding the shaking boy to his chest, stroking his hair. They stood like that for a while, until the water no longer ran red down the drain. Eventually, he pulled the still shaking boy out of the shower, and dried him off. Remus then took Sirius to his bed, sitting him on it and helping him dress after quickly dressing himself. He went to turn to his own bed, but found that he couldn't. Sirius had grabbed him by the arm.   
"Don't leave." the boy asked him in a torn voice. Remus saw in his eyes that he needed the other boy's comfort, so he climbed into the bed and once again wrapped his arms around him. Sirius soon fell into a fitful sleep, complete exhaustion finally taking him. Remus, on the other hand, lay awake most of the night; each one of the other boy's sobs and whimpers tearing his heart a little more.

That night was the night that Alaska Young almost, not quite, but almost died.

That night was the night Remus Lupin realised he was in love.

Both were because of Sirius Black.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, the boys find comfort in one another

Chapter Two

Remus must've fallen to sleep sometime during the night. He woke up with a dead arm and Sirius laying on top of it. He didn't mind though; the boy was soft and warm against him, and he looked calm. Remus drew imaginary circles on Sirius' arm with his fingers, tentatively at first, then fell into a mindless pattern. Looking down at the boy now, it was easy to see the brokenness in him; the way he curled up while he slept, clutching at Remus' t-shirt, the way his face twitched as though he was flinching every now and again. Things that the other marauders could not have noticed during the day, when Sirius was busy playing Mr 'I'm so fun and clever and robust'. Remus' hand was now stroking up and down Sirius' arm, inadvertently making him calm further and snuggle into him. He really was beautiful in a handsomely rugged way. His hair was black and curly; his skin tanned from many years of Quidditch and now riding on his bike. It was soft though, he took care of himself, always wanting to look nice; a charmer, but for no one in particular. Whereas James had his eyes set on a goal: Lily Evans, a stunning ginger Gryffindor, Sirius just liked people to like him. It was understandable really, given how he was treated in his god forsaken house. The thought alone brought tears to Remus' eyes, and he was soon crying for Sirius; for how he had been treated, the mistakes he had made, the demons he carried with him everywhere he went.  
“Don't worry Siri, I'll take care of you. I promise” He vowed.  
“Remmymus, you's getting my hairs all wet” He mumbled, but despite his words, Sirius snuggled more into Remus' chest, almost breaking his heart. How could something so cute have had to suffer so much?  
“We need to get up. You need breakfast.” Sirius hid his face more in Remus' chest in response.  
“But Remmymus, I'm sleepy.” Then Sirius noticed something. “Remy, why're you in my bed”  
“Because, Siri, something bad happened last-”  
“Oh” He pulled back from Remus, his brown eyes shining with the tears from his sleep, still bloodshot from the night before. “Yeah. We needa go see Pomfrey. Well, I do. Come with me again please?”  
“Yeah, of course I will.” He sat up, ready to swing his legs round and get off the bed, but Sirius caught his arm.  
“Thank you Remy.”  
“No problem. Now, up. Breakfast. We'll call in the hospital wing on the way there.”

They didn't need to go to the Great Hall for breakfast, Madame Pomfrey and already had a selection laid out for them in her office. Her and Dumbledore appeared deep in conversation when Sirius knocked on her door, but the conversation broke off as she told the boys to enter. They took the two spare seats and Sirius looked worried. Remus rested his hand on top of his for support, but Sirius twisted his own so that the boys were holding hands. He looked like he really needed it.   
“So, Mr Black. Now you have calmed down and slept, we need to talk to you. The girl is in a stable condition, and you did right bringing her here, but we have some questions to ask you.”  
“Yes sir.” Sirius' voice wavered and held none of the charm that it usually danced with.  
“What happened after the crash?”  
“A policeman was there. I memory charmed him. I didn't want to get into trouble. I didn't get to him before he could ring the Headmaster of her school though. I had to hide and cloak my bike first. He seemed to know the licence plate on her car; must've looked it up or something. He headmaster said her name was Alaska. He got memory charmed as well. Everyone in the muggle world probably thinks she's dead now. I thought she was at first.”  
“Well she's not Mr Black” Pomfrey interjected.  
“Yes, quite right Poppy. And you will serve punishment, but not with the Ministry. You will serve it here, and you will have to decide whether Alaska here gets memory charmed or not. It is your decision; she is your responsibility when she is well enough; you made her so.”  
“Yes Sir. Can I see her?”  
“Of course Mr Black” Dumbledore spoke firmly, knowing that Poppy probably wouldn't want anyone going near her patient; but Sirius deserved to see her. They ate a little breakfast, but Sirius couldn't stomach much, and Remus didn't want to keep him waiting. He knew that it was important to Sirius to see the girl and, after all, they would probably sneak down to the kitchens later that day.

Alaska Young was beautiful, even with the cuts and bruises that littered her face. She looked peaceful though, and the great thing about magical medical equipment was that it didn't beep or make any horrible noises; it whirred quietly and glowed; alerting the healer through their wand if anything was wrong. Sirius touched her face gently, whispering that he was sorry. Remus' hands were on his shoulders; making him feel more safe and calm than he did the previous day. He was still crying though, still hating himself for what he had done to this girl. This girl with a life; a life that he had taken away from her. She no doubt had friends; friends that she was probably no longer going to see again, friends that would mourn her and miss her; thinking she was dead. He sat there for exactly fifty seven minutes. Remus counted. Then he got up, looked and Remus, thanked Pomfrey for letting him see her, and walked off. Remus followed.

Sirius had gone straight back to the common room; curling up on one of the plush leather sofas in front of the fire. He was shaking again despite the warmth filling the room. Remus walked over and sat next to Sirius, holding him again. He didn't need to be asked. Sirius leant into Remus and neither one knew how long they sat there; neither one counted. It was nice for Sirius to have someone there for him when he needed them, and it was nice for Remus to actually be needed.   
“I'm scared Remy.” The comfortable silence was broken by Sirius' soft words.  
“I know Siri, but you don't need to be. Dumbledore's gonna keep you safe.” so am I, he added in his head, I won't let you hurt.  
“I guess.” He turned around to face Remus. “Can we go down to the kitchens? I'm starving.”  
Remus knew it was only a distraction; Sirius never ate when he was upset or stressed, but he went along with it anyway.  
“'Course. I'm so hungry I could eat a Hippogriff.” Remus, at least, was telling the truth, and his stomach growled in agreement. Sirius laughed and it made Remus' heart flutter. He loved Sirius' laugh; it was almost dog-like, loud and carefree.   
“We best get going before your stomach starts to eat itself.” Sirius laughed again, grabbing Remus' hand and pulling him out of the common room. It made Remus happy when Sirius didn't let go of his hand. He knew it shouldn't have; he probably didn't even realise that he still had hold of it. The boys walked in comfortable silence down to the kitchens and were met by a warm welcome from all of the house elves down there. They provided them with a feast and the boys sat eating, making small talk. Sirius didn't eat much, but he was just glad to have the other boy there with him. It made him feel okay, like all his world wasn't going to shit. 

Where James was his best friend, the one he'd moved in with when his family disowned him, the one who he planned pranks with and pratted around with all the time; Remus was his rock, the only one who he could confide anything in without feeling like he was going to be laughed at or judged. He felt like Remus understood him. He always felt safe with Remus; like nothing could get to him when he was with him. He always felt like there had to be something big happening when he was with James, like planning a prank or talking, or rather arguing, about quidditch. With Remus, they could sit together for hours in silence and he would feel happy, never lonely. He looked over at the other boy who was studying him, both of them blushing and looking away after brown eyes connected with amber. Sirius carried on picking at his food for a while, mulling over why his heart had fluttered when his eyes had connected with Remus'. After a while, he put it down to tiredness. A yawn escaped to prove his point and Remus noticed.  
“C'mon, we need to get you to bed”  
“Why Remy dear, you should at least buy me a drink first” The boys laughed and left the kitchens together, walking in companionable silence until they were near the hospital wing, then Sirius tensed.  
“Would you like to go and see her?”  
“Yes, please” Sirius looked at Remus and slid his hand into the other boys, smiling thankfully at him; happy for once that the other boy could read him like a book. 

Pomfrey and Dumbledore weren't surprised to see the boys; the two comfy armchairs that the boys had been sat on previously were still there, and so was enough tea and teacups for the four of them. Sirius went off to see Alaska and Remus stayed to talk to Dumbledore and Pomfrey about Sirius.  
“I'm trusting you'll look after him though Mr Lupin?” Dumbledore enquired after Remus had expressed his concerns for Sirius.  
“Of course I will! I would do anything for him” Remus didn't miss the knowing glint in Dumbledore's eye and continued “We all would. We're best friends, we all look after each other”  
“Yes Mr Lupin, of course, but you more so than anyone I guess?”  
“Well-” Sirius chose that moment to walk into the room.  
“She looks so much better. She actually has colour now. Thank you Madame Pomfrey. May we go?” Sirius rambled, Remus already standing up.   
“Of course, you are dismissed boys. Rest well.” Sirius was already pulling the other boy out by his hand before the Headmaster had finished speaking. Remus, again, took pleasure, very guiltily, in the fact that Sirius kept holding his hand; even though it showed that Sirius felt weak and in need of comfort, it made Remus feel needed. 

The boys reached their dorm and Remus was thoroughly disappointed when Sirius let go of his hand, and even more so when he wandered off into the bathroom to shower. Remus felt his heart sink and a strong feeling of not being needed washed over him like ice. That is, until Sirius walked out of the bathroom only wrapped in a towel, and a very different feeling spread through his veins like fire, melting the ice away. Remus had to make a very quick escape to the bathroom and into the shower; his thoughts as fixed on Sirius as they had been for the week and a half since Sirius had first left after 'The Incident', but instead of worrying about him, he was mentally tracing every contour with his fingers; his tongue tasting the imaginary salty skin that covered the boy that was, unbeknownst to him, curled up on his bed, falling to sleep in the comfort of the other boys scent. This is how Remus found him when he'd finished his shower. He paused for a moment, deciding whether to sleep in his own bed with Sirius, or take Sirius' bed for the night. He changed into some boxers, climbed into his own bed, wrapped himself and the duvet around Sirius and laid there, stroking the other boys cheek and arm until he fell to sleep; both boys with bitter-sweet smiles on their faces.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Boys go on a picnic!

Chapter 3

“We’re going for a picnic.” Remus opened his eyes to see a blurry Sirius leaning over him with a lopsided grin plastered across his face. He blinked a couple of times and rubbed his eyes to get the sleep out of them.  
“But it’s freezing Siri. The ground’s all covered in snow.”  
“All the more reason.” Sirius rolled off the bed and the sight of him stood there in just his boxers, grinning like the cheshire cat, made Remus’ body ache with want. He looked away slightly.  
“Well, okay. Let me actually wake up and then we can go down to the kitchens to get stuff”  
“Okay. I’ll wait here.” Sirius sat at the end of Remus’ bed, grinning and staring intently at him.  
“Okay, okay, I’m up. Silly hyperactive mutt.” Grumbled Remus, sitting up and stretching. 

When the boys were dressed and wrapped up warmly in hats and scarves, they went down to the kitchens, as planned. The elves were happy to provide them with a variety of delicious goods. So, with a hamper full of bread, cheese, cold meats, potato salad, cakes, pumpkin juice and, after puppy dog eyes from Sirius, two bottles of butter beer, the boys set off through the castle. The cold, as always, was permeating through the walls of the castle, but it was nothing compared to the wall of cold air that met them when they opened the castle doors and stepped outside; making them pull their coats tighter around them, and to huddle closer together. A small smile played on Remus’ lips as he looked at the other boy, glowing in the cold; his shaggy black hair contrasting deeply with the snow that cloaked the grounds. In that one moment, everything felt right in the world; this beautiful boy standing right in front of him like a dream, and the cold biting at his skin, reminding him everything was real. He he felt torn between shouting for joy; telling the world how happy he was to have this boy in his life, and breaking down and screaming about how unfair it was that he couldn’t touch him, that he couldn’t taste him, that he couldn’t love him. Instead he just walked on forward, searching for a spot to sit and eat. 

“Here?” Sirius’ soft voice broke the monotonous soundtrack of crunching of snow underfoot and rhythmic breathing made harsh by walking in the cold.   
“Yeah, here” Remus smiled softly. The place Sirius had chosen was lovely. It was protected at one side by trees, but open at the other; showing a gorgeous view of the grounds and the frozen lake. The boys sat down and Remus opened the hamper, passing a bottle of butterbeer to Sirius. They clinked glasses in a toast to a softly whispered “Alaska” and drunk deeply; the beverage warming their insides through slightly. Although Remus knew the situation had been carefully cultivated by Sirius, it felt like things were getting back to normal and, although he was scared to do anything to break the comfortable, happy feeling they were both sharing, he felt at ease with the other boy. 

Snow began falling but neither boy noticed. They sat eating, talking, laughing. They didn’t feel the cold reaching their bones or the snow soaking their clothes. They were much more interested in the triple chocolate cake that they had been given in the kitchens, or in Remus' case, much more interested in the way Sirius’ finger came up to wipe away the chocolate frosting from his mouth and Sirius was much more interested in the way Remus’ cheeks blushed a deeper shade of red when their flesh touched, or the way Remus’ amber eyes glazed over as Sirius smirked at him. A shiver ran through Remus.  
“Cold?” Laughed Sirius, his eyes glittering.  
“Hmm. We should go back. I think I need a shower to defrost my toes.”  
“Good idea.” Sirius’ voice had dropped slightly, becoming husky and sending waves of electricity through Remus’ body. He fair moaned as Sirius touched him again; grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the castle. They slipped many times in their haze, giggling and covering each other in more snow. They pushed the castle doors open in a haste and left big wet footprints all the way up the stairs.   
When they finally reached the dorm, Sirius ran straight into the showers, turning it on and standing in it; still fully clothed, his arms spread wide, laughing face turned up to the shower head. Remus stood there transfixed by the sight of the other boy dripping wet and laughing, then joined him. He was shocked when he felt Sirius’ fingers slip under his shirt, pushing it up over his head.   
“You can’t shower in your clothes, silly. Plus, they’re freezing cold.” Sirius’ voice was still husky, but it had softened to gentle and caring. So Remus let Sirius remove his clothes and waited for him to remove his own, until they were both stood there in their boxers. Remus felt like something was wrapping around his lungs, constricting his breathing. The whole cubicle was buzzing with electricity; bouncing off them both, wrapping around them and drawing them together. A sigh slipped out of Remus’ mouth as Sirius touched him again; his thumb stroking the smaller boy’s cheek, pulling him softly closer and closer. The static broke and waves of pleasure pulsed over him and their lips touched briefly, made him reel as Sirius pulled back. He couldn’t help himself; he wrapped his hands into Sirius’ hair and dragged him back down, whimpering into the kiss as Sirius softly caressed down his spine. The kiss made Remus dizzy, made him feel like the world was spinning too fast, something that he’d never felt before. Both boys clung to each other and Sirius slipped down the wall of the cubicle until he was sitting on the floor, Remus straddling him. The pleasure was almost unbearable as skin touched skin and the water slid over them. Sirius flipped them over and held Remus’ hands above him as he began to kiss gently down Remus’ neck. The dizzy feeling that filled Remus suddenly dispersed and was replaced by sheer panic and he felt the wolf react with alarm at being restrained. He pushed Sirius off him and fled into the bedroom where he flung himself on to his bed and curled up, his heart beating wildly as he whimpered. Sirius sat in the cubicle for a while, bewildered. He left the bathroom and went out to the dorm. Remus wasn’t there. 

Sirius sat by Alaska’s side; he’d gone to her room after looking for Remus for a while. He stroked the soft skin of her arm, deep in thought.  
“Why am I feeling like this Alaska? I kissed my best friend, and I enjoyed it. That’s not a bad thing is it? It felt good, it felt like it was the most natural thing in the world; having his lips on mine, his body against me. It just felt, right somehow. But obviously now I can’t carry on with it, can I? Or else I might lose him. And what about James, what if he hates me for it? I don’t want that because, no matter how much of an arse he is, he’s still my best friend. What if Remy hates me now, what if I took things too far? And even if I could pursue a relationship with Remy, I could lose him because of how other people would view us. I know how much Remy hates to be noticed. What if he thinks I took advantage of him? I mean, did i? I was the one who started the whole kissing thing. Ahh what the hell, you can’t even hear me because you’re in a fucking coma because I nearly killed you. That’s what good I do for people” He took one last look at her before turning around and walking out of the room, heading towards the grounds.

Alaska opened her eyes.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just boys being boys

Chapter 4

Remus woke up cold the next morning after falling into a fitful sleep before Sirius had returned. After his heart rate had dropped, he’d thrown on some clothes and walked to the library to think things through and breath in the calming book smell, then gone back to find Sirius and talk to him, but he wasn’t there. He felt a stab of loneliness at not having the other boy curled up with him, but brushed it off and climbed out of bed to have a shower, throwing his towel over his shoulder. Once in the shower, he stood for a long while; letting the water wash over him and thinking about the previous day. Had he ruined things with Sirius by letting the wolf take over him. But Sirius had understood- hadn't he? What if Sirius hadn't meant it in that way? They were both testosterone fuelled guys pretty much alone in an empty castle and Sirius was very emotionally volatile after what had happened. What if it was just a way of him trying to comfort himself? But the electricity, the passion that he felt coming off Sirius in waves, he couldn't mistake that for anything else. He could practically still feel it, bouncing off the walls. He came to the conclusion that he should stop thinking about it and let Sirius make the next move, if there was to be one, so as to not ruin their friendship. 

Sirius had come back in as Remus had come back from the shower. He watched the other boy bustle about in his boxer shorts; his skin still damp and hair tousled and dripping. His eyes followed the path of a stray droplet. It ran over his collar bone, over his chest, over the contours of his ribs, down his stomach and disappeared into the waistline of his boxer shorts. There was no doubt in Sirius' mind that Remus was attractive, even though the boy hated his body. He tried to cover it up as much as possible because of his scars. They were all in varying stages of healing; from barely there to an angry red, fresh from the latest battle against himself. He sighed dejectedly as Remus pulled on some clothes; possibly a little too loud, as Remus turned and smiled at him.  
“Siri, you're back. How are you?” Remus smiled at the other boy. He looked so damn attractive stood there in the doorway, eyes glancing over him. It took all of Remus' strength not to pull him all of the way back into the room and devour him.   
“I'm good. How are you, Remus?” Despite the use of the boy’s full name, the worry was evident in his eyes. The boys stood there, eyes locked when an indignant owl began knocking on the window. Sirius dragged his eyes away from Remus and opened the window. They darkened as he read the note the owl was carrying.   
“It says I need to go the hospital wing immediately.” The worry was evident in his voice.  
“Okay. Get dressed and we'll go, I'll come with you. If you want me.” Remus laid his hand softly on Sirius' back.  
“Of course I want you Remy. Erm, to come with me, I mean” Remus smiled and watched as the other boy left to shower and get dressed. He felt the loss immediately. 

They were on their way to the hospital when Sirius suddenly stopped and grabbed Remus.  
“I can't do it. I can't go in there. What if she's died? Why else would they have called us? Oh Merlin; I've killed someone! Oh fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. What do I do? Remus. What do I do!”  
“Breathe. That's what you do. Just breathe. You'll be okay; she'll be okay. Now come on.”  
“No. I can't” Sirius had gone pale and looked as though he was about to pass out, or throw up. Or both. Remus enveloped him in a hug and stroked his back.  
“Shhh, shhh. C'mon. You'll be okay. We have to go. You hear me?” He felt Sirius relax into him slightly and then pull away.  
“Okay.” He took a shaky breath. “Okay. Remus? Hold my hand?” He smiled and took the trembling hand in his own. Dumbledore didn't seem surprised to see Remus with Sirius, or to see that they were holding hands, again. Instead, he smiled warmly and offered them tea which Remus took graciously.   
“Where's Pomfrey? What's wrong?”  
“Nothings wrong my boy; in fact quite the opposite. Alaska is awake. Well, I believe she is napping at the moment. Apparently being in a coma really takes it out of a person.” Dumbledore smiled as the boys sat in shock. “I have invited you here to discuss Alaska's future.”  
“Okay, what's going to happen to her, Sir” Sirius managed to choke out.  
“Well, that's for you to decide.”  
“No, what? Wait, what? I can't do that.”  
“Of course you can. She's your responsibility; she's here because of you.”  
“Professor, do you really think that's the best idea in this situation?”  
“Of course, Remus, or I would not have suggested it. Now, Sirius; it really must be you.” The authority in Dumbledore's voice was something that, ultimately, neither of the boys could argue with. They ate a light breakfast in comfortable silence while Pomfrey gave Alaska a thorough examination to make sure everything was going to be functioning properly. As Remus was on his third cup of tea, Pomfrey emerged into the office, a light smile on her normally stern features, reassuring the men in the room that Alaska would, indeed, be fine. Dumbledore poured Pomfrey a cup of tea and they set to work drawing up Alaska's plans. 

After many hours of arguments, tea, sandwiches and chocolate, it was decided that Alaska would stay at Hogwarts. After all, all of the people who knew her thought she was dead. Pomfrey had told them that, although she would be okay, it would take a good long while for her to get to a healthy stage, as the accident had caused her to have severe trauma to her temporal lobe. She was to have her own private room somewhere in the castle, and when she was feeling up to it, if she wanted to, she would take lessons in subjects that didn't require magical ability, as well as a tutor to teach her in muggle lessons that she would be missing. It would be Sirius' job to help Alaska integrate into the world of magic and of Hogwarts and to make sure she felt accepted and comfortable. He agreed after much doubting of his capabilities and Remus convincing him he was up to the job, and that he would have his help and support all the way through. Dumbledore watched the exchange between the boys with a smile. Something had changed between them; he just hoped that they were not going to ignore it like so many students before them. After all of the important decisions had been made, Dumbledore dismissed the boys. They were not allowed to visit Alaska as Pomfrey was adamant that disruptions would not aid her healing, so they decided to have a walk around the frozen lake. 

It was snowing still outside, making everything sparkle. Remus loved the winter; it made everything smell fresh and clean. The lake was stunning at that time of the year; it resembled a mirror and Remus was taken aback as he caught sight of himself and Sirius. They looked beautiful together; Sirius was muscular and had dark, bouncy locks, an air of confidence surrounding him, whereas Remus was smaller, leaner and his hair was light and straight and his intelligence was tangible. They contrasted each other so perfectly that they came together as one harmonious whole. Sirius noticed Remus studying their reflection and pulled him closer by the shoulder, pressing their faces together.  
“What you thinking, Remy?” Remus just blushed and looked away. They carried on around the lake for a while, marvelling at how beautiful it all was and talking about Alaska; getting excited about showing her all of the wonders of the castle. They both agreed to show her the map to help her find her way around the castle easier. It was also agreed that Remus would help her with her studies if she needed the support. After a while of walking, the snow had become so thick that they could barely see each other. Sirius held Remus' hand, telling him that it was so he didn't lose him as they walked back to the tower. 

Remus took that evening to catch up on some reading. Sirius did what he always did while the boys were alone and Remus was reading; he transformed into dog form and let Remus run his fingers rhythmically through his dense black fur. They sat together for hours, breaking only to eat a dinner of sausage and chips, pumpkin juice and gooey brownies for after. A sense of calm had settled over the boys. They were both able to relax now that they knew Alaska was awake and going to be okay. Around 11pm, neither of the boys could keep their eyes open, so they decided to head off to bed.  
“I think I'm still sad.” Sirius looked at Remus with puppy dog eyes. “Can I sleep with you again?”  
“Of course Siri” Remus smiled calmly, but on the inside, he was on fire with joy. The boys stripped down to their boxer shorts and climbed into bed, both of them feeling the static as they lay there together, in a blissful trance like state, somewhere between sleep and consciousness. It didn't take long before they fell into a slumber that was filled with dreams of one another; sweet kisses, fleeting touches, loving smiles and warm embraces.


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James is back (and actually a bit of a dick (but he has reasons to be!))

Chapter 5

“PADFOOOOOT! MOONY! GUESS WHO'S HOME!” Remus and Sirius awoke with a start, neither of them wanting to untangle themselves from one another, but knowing they had to. Four days had passed since they'd found out that Alaska had woken up and they'd easily fallen into the routine of sleeping together. James bounded in, oblivious to the fact that his friends were in the same bed; after all, they'd all shared one another’s beds in the past. He was too preoccupied with the mounds of presents that he and Peter were carrying. They piled them onto one of the beds.  
“Come and get 'em boys.” James flashed a grin at Remus and Sirius.  
“How'd you know I'd be back Prongs?” Sirius murmured, still half asleep.  
“Because, my good friend Padfoot, you would never, and I repeat never, miss a chance to eat my mother's cake.” Sirius laughed and agreed with James, all the while thinking how he'd actually rather still be curled up with Remus. “So, you guys going to open your presents or what?”

An hour later, paper and unwrapped gifts were strewn about, each one of the boys eating a different form of sweet. When the clock chimed 10, Sirius went rigid. They normally went to see Alaska about that time, and in the excitement of James and Peter arriving and the gift giving, they had almost forgotten about her. How the hell was he supposed to tell James what he'd done? How could he tell him that he'd nearly got another person killed, and probably just about ruined her life? He looked at Remus, who instantly sensed what he was thinking.   
“Me and Sirius are going to go down to the kitchens and get some breakfast and Butterbeer for us all. You guys stay here and clean this mess up.” Remus stood up, his eyes telling Sirius to follow him. Neither of them spoke until they'd gotten out of Gryffindor tower, then Remus turned to Sirius and held his hand. “You'll be okay Siri, you have me. I can help you to explain. After all, it wasn't your fault.” Sirius looked Remus in the eyes, his own brimming with tears. Then he leant down and kissed Remus. It was tentative at first, nothing like when they were in the shower. This one was full of fear and of gratitude towards the auburn boy stood in front of him. The actual kiss didn't last very long, but the raw emotion that it was powered by lingered between them long after their lips had parted.   
“I'll tell them. When we get back, I'll tell them.” Remus could tell that Sirius was telling himself just as much as he was informing him of his intentions. He felt a pang of sorrow for the boy. After all, what he'd said was true; it really wasn't his fault what had happened. Okay, he was in the wrong for riding his bike where he could've been seen, but how would he know the spell would momentarily fail? He squeezed Sirius' hand softly, reiterating his earlier sentiment that he would be there for him, to support him. 

When they returned with the goods from the kitchen, James was absent-mindedly throwing a quaffle up in the air and catching it, and Peter was watching him, almost in awe. They passed the food and drinks around and sat in silence for a while. Finally, Sirius cleared his throat.   
“Guys, I have something to tell you.” All eyes were suddenly on him. “When I ran away, I went to America. I was flying on my bike one night, and the cloaking spell conked out on me for a couple of seconds. There was a girl, she saw me-” He looked to Remus. “- She crashed. I freaked, made everyone think she was dead and brought her here. She was in a coma for a couple of days. She's awake now though.”  
“What the fuck Sirius. Again? You nearly killed someone, again?” James glared at Sirius. “You, Merlin Sirius, you're fucking dangerous. What's gonna happen to her?”  
“She'll stay here, private room, education.” Remus interjected.   
“And you, you knew about this and you're okay with it, again?”  
“Yes, Sirius didn't mean to, it wasn't his fault.”  
“Whatever. Way to ruin someone's Christmas.” James stood up and stormed out of the room, Peter soon following him after looking torn between him and Sirius. Remus stayed with Sirius and layed a hand on his arm. Sirius pulled away. 

When lunch came around, Sirius and Remus ate in the hall for the first time in days. James and Peter were there and a silence fell over them as they all picked uneasily at their food. The other students noticed that something was wrong with the normally jovial and close knit boys, but no one wanted to say anything and accentuate the problem. They all went back to the dorm together after lunch, the silence still tangible. James resumed his quaffle throwing and Remus tried to read, but kept glancing worriedly at Sirius. He knew the situation was about to explode, it was just a matter of time. Even Peter, usually talkative and borderline annoying was sat silent.   
“Why the fuck are you even reacting like this James?” Remus cringed; it had started.  
“Because, Sirius, you nearly killed a human being. Why would I not react badly. I don't want to be associated with an almost-murderer.”  
“Yeah, because I meant to. You have no idea what it was like, holding her in my arm as she fucking bled out. I thought I was going to go mad; checking every two fucking seconds that she wasn't dead.” They'd both stood up.   
“You always have to make it about you don't you.” He mimicked Sirius, “Oh, no, a girl nearly died and I was all sad about it, oh woe is fucking me”.  
“Oh, because you were actually there and you know what happened. No, you weren't but Remus was. And if you hold that against him, I'll kill you. I swear it.”  
“I won't be the first of your victims though, will I?” James sneered. “And why the fuck you getting so protective over Remus for? You fucking or something? You were in the same bed this morning.”  
“You make me fucking sick James.” He grabbed his coat and strode towards the door.  
“Running away again? It's all you ever seem to do. First from your family, then from almost killing Snape, and now from us. Fucking Coward.”   
“No, I'm just going so I don't pound you into a bloody pulp.” He left the room and slammed the door. Remus appeared next to him not long after.   
“Just Leave it Remus. I can't go back in there.” He placed a kiss on Remus' cheek and walked off. 

Remus stood in the corridor long after Sirius had left, the place where he'd kissed him tingling. It was true that Sirius and James were best friends, but that also meant that when they fought, they fought hard. Because they were so similar, and both stubborn, there was no give in their arguments. Remus hated James and his arrogance at that point. Sirius was right; James hadn't been there, he hadn't seen how broken Sirius had been. He decided to go to the library. He couldn't face James at that point. Even though Remus wasn't a violent man, the wolf inside him would happily have ripped James' face clean off. He spent a few hours in the library, mostly researching into muggle-wizard integration so he could help Sirius with Alaska as much as possible. Merlin knows he'd need it if James was acting like he was. It was just before five when he went back to the tower; half expecting to see James and Sirius fighting. Sirius wasn't there though. Nor was he in the kitchens, so Remus looked on the map. His dot wasn't on there. Remus began to panic, but then remembered their picnic. They hadn't finished the map, so some of the grounds weren't on there. He pulled on his coat and left to try and find Sirius. 

It was bitter outside and almost dark. There was none of the beauty and wonder left for Remus; instead he was filled with his innate fear of the dark and a new, more powerful dread at the prospect of Sirius going missing again. When he got to the spot where they'd had their picnic, his heart leapt into his mouth. Sirius wasn't there. He was about to turn back when he noticed a disturbance in the falling of the snow. It was being caused by a piece of parchment; obviously charmed to repel the snow. It was addressed to him in Sirius' messy scrawl. 

Remus,

Thank you for your support for the last couple of days. It has been refreshing to know that I have someone there for me; someone who is supportive of me no matter the situation. I am sorry. I can't stay. It's obvious that I'm not wanted here, nor can I seem to do any good. I advise you not to try and find me; it will only hurt more when I have to Refuse to come back with you, or leave you again. There is one more thing. Something that I do not think that James would understand, or accept.   
Remus Lupin, I believe that I am falling in love with you.  
For this, I apologise.

Yours,

Sirius Black.


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello Margo!

Chapter 6

Remus was furious. He was distraught. Sirius had been gone for three days and it had been hell. It was like there was a hole in his chest an ache that nagged at him, sharpening every time he was reminded of, or thought about, the other boy. He was currently in the bathroom, looking at his pallid reflection in the mirror. A combination of worry for Sirius and the short amount of time left before the next full moon, and his next transformation had made his cheeks sink into his face and dark shadows bloom under his eyes. He had barely spoken to either James or Peter over the couple of days that Sirius had been away. Every time he had encountered them, especially James, the Wolf inside him had risen dangerously close to the surface and he'd had to walk away before he'd done something he may have come to regret in the future. He left the bathroom to go to the prefects meeting and passed James in the common room. He ignored him; a tactic that he'd adopted to avoid ripping his throat out. He didn't register the cold as he left the common room. He felt clammy, sweat beading under his hair. He hadn't walked very far when he heard his name being shouted. He turned around and Lily Evans, fellow prefect and object of James' affections, was calling him, hurrying to catch up.   
“Hey Remus.” She greeted him pleasantly. He was the only one of the group that Lily actually liked. She took in his appearance. “Are you okay? You don't look very well.”  
“Yeah, I'm okay. Just worrying. You know me.”  
“I heard about Sirius,” She said quietly, “I heard James and Peter arguing yesterday when I got back from my parents. Peter was defending Sirius, trying to get James to send a letter of apology to him. James told him to go away. Only not as politely as that.” Remus noticed the distaste with which Lily said James' name. It was as though she had something particularly disgusting in her mouth. He made a mental note to talk to Peter and apologise to him.   
“You're in love with him, aren't you?” The question took Remus aback  
“Who?” He tried to keep his voice neutral; but he knew she'd notice the quiver it held.  
“Sirius, of course. Don't fight it, you need it. I'm not saying Sirius is perfect, in fact I quite dislike him, but he makes you glow. He can't have been gone for more than a few days and you already look dreadful. No offence.” Remus tried to decide whether to deny his feelings, but in the end he knew that Lily would see straight through him.   
“Yeah.” He sighed, “I've known for about a week. Just over.”  
“And you haven't told him?” Lily sounded concerned.  
“No. We kissed once but-”  
“You Kissed? Oh my gosh Remus. Really?”  
“Yeah, but I pushed him off me.”  
“You didn't want to ruin your friendship.”   
“Yeah.” It was half true, but how could he tell Lily about his secret?  
“Screw your friendship. As soon as he gets back, you tell him. You make things perfectly clear so there's no confusion. That will only lead to hurt, and by God Remus, you have enough of that in your life.” Remus looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “I know Remus, about your secret. It's not that hard to figure out if you pay attention.”  
“Oh.” Remus' heart had sped up and he had become even more clammy.   
“Don't worry, Remus, I trust Dumbledore enough to know you're not going to rip my face off.” She smiled kindly at Remus.  
“Thanks.” Remus didn't know where to look. He decided that a stain on the floor was sufficiently interesting. He jumped as he felt a pair of arms wrap around him.  
“You have nothing to thank me for, Moony.” She winked at him as she released him from the embrace, a small smile playing on her lips.   
“We should, erm, we should probably get going to the meeting.” His voice cracked slightly and he felt tears of gratitude prickling at the corners of his eyes.  
The meeting was uneventful and uninteresting. Remus didn't know whether to be surprised or not that there was no mention of Alaska or Sirius. Lily and Remus walked back to the common room together, chatting about their holidays. Remus received a death glare from James as he entered the common room. It sometimes startled him just how obsessed James was with Lily and he wondered just what lengths he would go to to try and make her date him, and what he would do if she decided to date someone else. The thought worried him slightly. He bode Lily goodnight and climbed up the stairs to the dormitory. Peter was sitting on his bed and jumped as Remus entered.   
“Thank you Peter, and I'm sorry.” Peter looked confused. “I've heard you were sticking up for Sirius. I never thought you'd stand up to James like that.”  
“Yeah, well James is being a twat.” He looked unsure whether to feel insulted or proud at Remus' statement. Remus sighed.   
“That he is.” He went into the bathroom to get ready for bed and slipped under his covers upon re entering the bedroom. He was exhausted, as was the norm around the full moon, but his mind was unable to shut down. Thoughts of Sirius whirled around his head. He was sick with worry, but was also selfishly mad at Sirius for leaving him in his time of need. Having Sirius around always made the transformations easier, but he would have to deal with this one without him; possibly without any of them, as he was not talking to James. He finally fell into a fitful sleep, dreams of the searing pain he experienced after every full moon twisting into ones of him and Sirius running and playing as wolf as dog and then into a vivid recollection of Sirius' hot hands and mouth running over him under the pouring water.

He woke the next morning panting and aroused. His veins felt as though they were on fire and his skin tingled as though the lips and hands had really been there just moments before. He dragged himself out of bed, glancing briefly out of the window on the way to the bathroom. Judging by the dull light beginning to creep into the sky, it was still quite early. He turned the shower on and stepped under it; his body reacting strongly to the flash of memory of hot water pouring over his and Surius' bodies as they melted into one another. He found himself cursing the wolf inside him; if it hadn't been for that he wouldn't have pulled away. Yet the wolf was close to the surface now. An animalistic passion jolted through him as he thought about Sirius' bare skin, glistening and wet. He bit his lip. He let his imagination wander further, for the first time thinking how it would be to remove Sirius' boxer shorts; strip him bare and touch him; taste him. He wanted to mark him as his own. He felt like he was going to burst with need; he was so close. A small moan escaped his mouth and he closed his eyes; squeezing them so tight that small stars exploded in the darkness. As soon as he regained his senses, he felt awful. He knew he shouldn't have let the wolf take control of him as much, but he was also aware, deep down, that it wasn't just the wolf that wanted to own Sirius so completely, it was the quiet, intellectual boy that now stood breathing heavily against the wall of the shower cubicle. Remus exited the shower, dried and dressed, guilt nagging at him. 

Sirius sat at the window, a duvet wrapped tightly around him. He remembered the first time he'd ever gone to New York City. He'd been a young boy; no older than seven, and it had been magical. It had been so deep in snow that he'd had trouble walking. He'd skated in a huge outdoor rink, showing off for everyone around him, as per usual. Now though, the morning snow outside seemed dull. It was nothing like when him and Remus had gone for their picnic; there was no Remus to make everything glitter and glow, there was no warm hand gripped in his. He looked into the sky as he had done countless times over the past few days. He'd expected a letter by now, but maybe Remus had been glad to be rid of him, especially after the letter he had left him. Sirius felt a wave of nausea. Why had he admitted to Remus how he felt? He was an idiot. Did he really love Remus, or was it just that he'd been there in his hour of need? He thought of Remus' face, his gentle smile that could become deliciously wolfish, his soft brown eyes that had shone with passion when they'd kissed. He was definitely attracted to the other boy. He thought about the way Remus had cared for him after what had happened with Alaska; the way he'd held him as though he would shatter. His heart ached. He could not fool himself. He was undoubtedly in love with Remus Lupin.   
He decided that he would go for a walk to waste some of the day. He dressed in a pair of black jeans that were fading in places, a grey t-shirt, heavy duty boots and his beloved leather Jacket. He'd worn it so often that the once stiff leather had moulded to his body, moving freely with his movements. He added the Gryffindor scarf that he'd stolen from Remus' bed moments before he left to his outfit, burying his nose into it. It smelled like him. His heart gave a jolt. The snow, although not as thick as the first time he'd been, covered the ground. He wandered the streets aimlessly for a couple of hours, walking around shops that he had no interest in. One item, however, caught his eye. A pendant hung glittering in a cabinet. A white wolf and a black dog were curled around each other; the wolf had a black star on his chest, where his heart would be, and the dog a white moon. He stood staring at it for a long while, before being asked if he'd like to have a closer look by a shop assistant. The pendant felt weighty in his hand, but comfortably so. He'd bought it before he really thought about what he was doing. It felt cold against his skin as he left the shop, but it soon warmed up to the temperature of his body. The thought of it being there though; a reminder of Remus, made him feel warmer. He walked around for several more hours before his stomach started groaning. He was mildly surprised as he look at his watch and it told him it was nearing four pm. He'd had nothing to eat that day and at that realisation his stomach growled again, louder this time. He found a small ‘Irish’ pub that promised 'Good quality food, 7AM to 11PM' and entered; warmth and the smell of food and alcohol making him feel comfortable at once. He sat at a small table and glanced through the menu.  
“Can I take your order?” A smiling young woman of around his own age was stood in front of him; tucking her pixie cut hair behind her ear.   
“Erm, yeah. Steak, chips and a bottle of coke please.”  
“Good choice, sir.” Her blue eyes sparkled in the dim light and he knew she was attracted to him. Before he could stop himself, he was asking her what time she finished her shift.  
“I finish at five. Why do you ask?” Her soft pink lips had curled into a knowing smile.  
“Because I'd like you to join me for a drink,” he glanced at her name tag, “Miss Margo.”  
“I'd be delighted. Although, I think I'm at a disadvantage.” Sirius raised his eyebrow. “You know my name, and I don't know yours”  
“Sirius. Sirius Black.” He held out his hand and she took it, shaking it firmly.  
“Nice to meet you Sirius. That's the dog constellation, is it not?”  
“Bright as well as beautiful, I see. Yes it is. Most of my family are named after stars and constellations.”  
“That's amazing. I'd love to hear more about your family,” Sirius laughed dryly, “but for now, I will get you your food and finish my shift, before I get told off” She left, as Sirius couldn't help but watch her hips as they swung softly as she moved. He couldn't deny she was attractive. She didn't say much to him as she brought him his food; she merely smiled coyly and left. 

After she'd finished her shift, and Sirius had finished his food, she came over to him with more drinks, sitting down opposite him and smiling brightly. They conversed for a while about light topics; favourite foods, bands, books and colours. They then went onto friends and family; a topic which Sirius steered her away from, telling her briefly that he went to a boarding school and didn't see much of his family. When he told her he had a motorbike, her eyes shone with awe.  
“But you can’t be older than seventeen, you shouldn't be allowed”  
“Yeah, special circumstances.”  
“Wow. Can I go on it?”  
“Yeah, 'course you can, but we'll have to walk back to my place. I didn't drive it here.” They left the pub, the cold hitting them as they walked into it. Sirius drew Margo close to him. They walked in comfortable silence until they reached the apartment that Sirius was staying in.  
“My house” He smiled as he let them both in to the warmth.   
“Your parents are out?”  
“They don't live here.”  
“You have your own house? Why don't you live with your parents?”  
“We have differing opinions on very important things.” Margo sat quietly on the sofa for a little while as Sirius left to get them both drinks.   
“I live on my own too.” She spoke softly as Sirius handed her a drink.  
“Why don't you live with your parents?”  
“Pretty much for the same reasons as you. I nearly went back though, for a boy, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.” Sex was suddenly the furthest thing from Sirius' mind.   
“I came here from school because of a boy.”  
“What?” A look of confusion flitted across Margo's face before comprehension dawned on her. “You're in love with someone and you left because you thought you would cause trouble for him if you stayed.”  
“Yeah. It's true though, I'm no good for anyone. You should leave.”  
“No, you should leave. You should go back to him and tell him how you feel. You're an idiot Sirius.” Sirius laughed.  
“Merlin Margo, it's like you already know me.”  
“Merlin?” Margo laughed softly. “And no Sirius, I know the situation. I've lost my chance. I'm not letting you lose yours.” She looked into his face. “Please Sirius, he probably needs you.” Sirius swore loudly, making Margo jump. Something had just dawned on him. It was Remus' transformation soon. He looked at the calendar on the wall. It was the next night. He swore again.


End file.
